whirlwind

As Alex likes to quote from Talladega Nights, "TWO CHRISTMASES!"

Or more accurately, five Christmases, spanning from Oneonta to Guntersville to Sheffield.

We kicked off Christmas with a party at Alex's house, hosted by his roommate Buck and his girlfriend-- THE hostess with the mostess. This was our first foray into the world of married couples, as the entire party consisted of 8 couples, 5 of who were married couples. And if that doesn't feel grown up enough, one couple had a seven month old at home with a sitter.

The next day, after my second battery of testing for graduation/certification/licensure, we headed to Oneonta for the Marcum family Christmas at Momma Em's. There's never a dull moment when the oldest grandson is 33 (or are you 34, Eric?) and the youngest great grandchild is 2. And better yet, the true youngest is coming on January 31! And throughout that age range, the biggest gap is 6 years. We literally have every developmental stage and age group represented, so there's always wisdom to share and stories to tell and retell.

This week, we celebrated Christmas at Kat's house. I think this was her third annual gathering, but my first time attending, and I was kind of overwhelmed by how this group of people (Kat specifically) brought me to where I am right now. Laura and her husband were there-- the two that introduced me to Kat. Rebekah, who hosted the girls night where I met she and Kat, was there. Abby was with Kat and I when we got ready to go out the night Alex and I were officially "set up" (seriously, it was like a conspiracy). As we stood around sipping champagne punch and eating Christmas cookies, I couldn't help but think how my life's come full circle in so short a time.

**As I mentioned, this is the third annual Christmas party at Katherine's, and unfortunately the last one for some time. On January 9, our little matchmaker leaves for a 2.5 year mission to Bulgaria. So please put this very, very special friend of mine on your prayer list, boys and girls.

Friday morning, Alex and I headed home to Guntersville for Christmas with my parents. This year has been confusing for me because I'm a stickler for tradition. That is, I require that things be exactly the same from year to year. That means we don't deviate from our traditional watching of the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas or the sugar cookies that we eat while we watch. With "TWO CHRISTMASES!" this year, a little flexibility was needed. So Christmas Eve Eve, we had our traditional Christmas Eve meal and opened one present apiece. We tried out a new game that Mom and Dad won in Marcum Dirty Christmas, and Alex and I spent a great deal of time playing Mario Party on Wii (as a result of his one present for the night). To cap off the night, Al watched the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas at the foot of my bed while I looked through wedding inspiration online.

Christmas Eve morning, the house was frenzied with preparations for the Hays family Christmas celebration. The whole clan gathered at our place for lunch and Wii battles, a tradition that has emerged mainly among the men of our family in the last five years or so. Per usual, there was way more food than necessary and tons of memories shared between cousins that grew up in the same crazy family. Stories that only cousins would find funny.

After the family left, I demolished Alex in Mario Party for the first and very likely last time (which is why it must be documented here in public). Later, Mom and Dad tag-teamed us in a combined battle of Scrabble and Taboo. Technically they won, but if you break down the scores (which we're doing here for the sake of our egos) they won decidedly in Scrabble and we mopped the floor with them in Taboo. I think we can all see where the true teamwork shined through. (And if you don't know how to play Taboo, I'll just tell you: it requires actual teamwork, unlike Scrabble). We feasted on leftovers from earlier that day and opened another round of presents-- this year Mom wanted to work up to a grand finale on Christmas morning, so we went 1-3-remainder starting on Friday and ending on Sunday morning.

Sunday morning, Dad made his traditional omelets, and we opened-- unwrapping Santa gifts was a first in the Hays home-- the remainder of our Christmas toys. Alex pretty much reaped a new wardrobe from his first Christmas with us, and I did pretty well too: wallet, purse, clothes, apron, ornament for my collection, make-up, etc.

After a beautiful Christmas morning service at FBC, we headed west to Sheffield for my first Ruggles Family Christmas. The setting's a little more formal, but the love is just as palpable. I was reminded throughout the day how lucky Alex and I are to come from two families that truly love and enjoy each other. It's incredible enough that each of our parents are in the happiest years of their 30+ year marriages, and getting happier by the day it seems, but to have extended families, too, that genuinely look forward to these holiday gatherings... well, we're unspeakably blessed. That's all there is to it.

This was the first time getting to catch up with Alex's extended family since we got engaged, so it was quite special to see the two women that so graciously gave their own engagement rings to help create mine. It was thrilling all over again to tell the story and talk wedding details with my new family.

Christmas night, we returned to the GORGEOUS home of Alex's parents. At long last, Alex got to have Santa time with his folks, and I had the privilege of becoming part of their traditions.

Today, Al and I had lunch with three of his best friends from high school. It was funny to hear their shared stories of growing up together and funnier still to hear stories they shared with each other from new chapters of their lives. And sometimes it was just funny to zone out while they the umpteenth story of 25 people I didn't know. The rest of the afternoon was spent reading and snoozing and last minute catching up with the family of the groom.

And tonight, I got to spend an evening with one of my very best friends and bridesmaid, Laura, who is in the 23rd hour of her own new engagement. It's so wild to share this time with my closest friends. Between Erica and now Laura, nothing beats comparing notes with my best friends as they go through the same trials and tribulation and thrills and exultation of being the bride-to-be.

All in all, it's been a whirlwind-- but a very merry, wonderful Christmas whirlwind.

to prove my point.

Remember that last post about books saturating my life?

Tonight, I sat around with Trey, Hunter, and Josh playing board games-- wild and crazy guys!-- and I couldn't help but see that post at work.

Trey had devised what he calls a board game biathalon (actually, it was a triathalon, but we talked him down from from tri- to bi-). We split into teams-- Josh/Lindsey v. Hunter/Trey-- and went back and forth between Scrabble and Taboo. We each played our turn of Scrabble, partners scores being counted collectively, and then we did a round of Taboo. Then, you guessed it, back to Scrabble. Repeat. I thought it was going to be chaotic, but it was actually a lot of fun and broke the monotony of an hour-long Scrabble game.

As we played Scrabble, I struggled more than usual. For one, Words with Friends lets me play with words and tells me if it's a word or not. But the most frustrating thing was that I couldn't remember what words were actually... words. Literary words from made up worlds fogged my mind-- is nox a word? or is it just a spell to turn out the lights? (that's from Harry Potter, Mom). what about avox? word or a tongueless convict in the Capitol? (The Hunger Games).

Clearly, I was working with an 'x' because doxy also sent me for a whirl (in Harry Potter-world, that's a creature that lives in dusty places, like the abandoned home of Sirius Black). But you get my point.

And for the record, Josh and I dominated: 320 to 247. Hunter's a frequent flier on Words with Friends, so I thought they'd have a pretty good run... not to mention, Josh played in a Benadryl haze, but it was an easy victory after all.

Best. Gamer. Ever.

good book.

Well, I hesitantly started The Hunger Games earlier this week. Many had recommended the book to me, but I didn't love the sound of the 1984-esque book, especially not without Pamela Moore's interpretation by my side.

(that's a reference to my practically divine dual-enrollment senior English "professor," folks).

But I'm on holiday, and everyone else is doing it, so... I embarked on the book-of-the-moment as my "trendy read" of the break. The first chapter and a half, I was just 'meh...' The latter half of chapter two and chapter three were more of a 'hmmm...' and now, I'm in. So in, in fact, that I'm dreaming about participating in the Hunger Games. And that's no sweet dream.

That's the mark of a good book if you ask me: when you're so drawn into the characters and the plot that they start to penetrate your real life.

While I was reading Gone with the Wind, any "bump in the night" was a Union soldier trying to take the last of our meager rations. The second time I read the Harry Potter series, I sobbed when a beloved character fell to his death-- yes, sobbed on the elliptical machine in the apartment complex gym; I made quite a splash. Sense and Sensibility had me thinking in an English accent; occasionally, it had me speaking in an English accent that sounded much better in my head. My favorite book as a child, Jacob Have I Loved, transported me to my grandparents' house on Smith Lake every time I cracked open the novel. When I read Redeeming Love in college, my heart bled for Angel, hating her and hurting for her all at once. Books about royalty-- Henry the VIII, Marie Antoinette, and even Zeus and his crowd-- make it that much easier to be drawn into because it's a world every little girl wants to walk into (albeit, you soon find out those stories don't have a happy ending-- see Marie Antoinette for details). And I can't forget Bridge to Terabithia, which was read to me in third grade. Each day, a little passage after break. My thoughts raced, conflicted between listening and trying to determine where my own Terabithia lie.

Wow. Nerd Alert! But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. If these parallel worlds that offer a moment of respite in a busy, all-too-real world make me a Nerd, I'll wear that as a badge of honor. I'll also leave you with a lovely quote from Robert Pattinson, star of another phenomenon, Twilight.*

*You'll notice that RP's book series, authored by Stephanie Meyer, didn't make my list. That wasn't an accident... but his quote is still dead on.

"If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads."


** The thing about Internet quotes is...  you can't guarantee the accuracy. Whether or not this is the REAL R Pattz, it's still good.

conviction.

This week our Bible study talked about premeditated sin. Truthfully, our student-leader, Laura, called it something much more intelligent and theological, but the term escapes me at the moment.

The point, though—the bare bones of it—was that we take advantage of grace. We take advantage of this gift we’ve been given because it’s free. It’s easy. It’s abundant. It’s accessible. It’s abused.

In Monopoly, if I hit ‘Go Straight to Jail,’ I’ve practically lost nothing but my ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card. We walk around this life as though we have a never-ending supply of ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards.

And that’s the truth, really, except that we’re warned against this very thing.

We’re grateful for grace because we need it desperately. Even at our best, we need it. Because we’re flawed. Broken. Beyond repair—except for the love of a Savior. And so we are given grace as a pardon for our depraved natures, not as an excuse for our unreformed lifestyles.

Do we mess up? Yes, absolutely, without a doubt. But do we PLAN to mess up? Do we knowingly live out a lifestyle contrary to what we, believers, are called to live? Every single day.

The question posed at Bible study with this: are we banking on grace? Do we knowingly use it as a “Freebie” to dabble in darkness?

I saw this little “poem” online once-upon-a-time. I can’t remember where, although I would bet it was someone’s Facebook status. It’s cringe-worthy at first, but then you’ll realize that’s it an unspoken mantra, whatever the subject matter, of us all:

Sex is evil… Evil is sin.

Sin is forgiven… so sex is in.

Pick your poison and replace “sin” with it, and voila—tell me that we don’t live our lives that way, whether it’s sex, gossip, gluttony, profanity, and so on and so on. As we bank on grace, we excuse ourselves to live no differently from the world, even when we’re commanded to be light and salt.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Romans 6:1-2, NIV

The other line of defense for this habitual sin lifestyle we choose is that we “can’t go back.” I hear from time to time, even from my own mouth, “I can’t help being a gossip. I was just born nosey.” So many times I’ve heard friends say, “I’ve already crossed that line; there’s no going back.” If your life were a Tylenol bottle with a safety seal, your logic would be right. Once the seal is broken, the product should be discarded. In actuality, we came to this earth with seals broken, worthy of being trashed.  As believers, though, we have redemption from this fate. We have been sealed by Christ, and yet we continue to act as though we’re one step further than His grace can cover. We are fortunate to serve a God that separates our sins from us as far as the East is from the West, but instead we cling to that, holding it to us as though we can’t let it go. As though our sin is bigger than our God. It’s insulting to God and the magnitude of the sacrifice He made on the cross to save us from the very thing we find ourselves clinging to. It’s like saying, “I really appreciate Your hard work and all—that whole death on the cross was great work, really—but I’m just going to hold onto this until something better comes along.”

Would I say it to His face? Absolutely not. But my actions say it everyday, and you know what they say—Actions speak louder than words.

I’ve been thinking about this because my spiritual life has the tendency to fall into a list of to-dos. Am I doing my quiet time? Check. Am I going to church every Sunday? Check. Am I participating in a small group? Check and check. Look how good I am! But am I getting better? Good is great, but is it good enough? Am I doing enough? Am I settling for good when my Savior deserves my best? Because faith is dead without works—there’s actually some effort required on my part, albeit outrageously low considering how great a debtor I am.

Just some thoughts on sinning by someone who knows the art of sinning well. 

highlight.

One highlight of attending Bible study tonight was getting to catch up with the other resident "grown up" in the bunch, Andrea.

First you need to know that Andrea was kind of my girl crush in high school. Two years older than me, she had it all-- she was beautiful and athletic, wore all the right clothes, and balanced out the "cool" side with the "nerdy" side through theater, choir, and other nerdisms like Harry Potter. Once, in the lunch line, she told me she liked my Express jeans and I nearly had a stroke.

So tonight, when she sat down next to me at Bible study and half the table of high school girls went nuts over whether or not we were sisters and how much we looked alike... well, there goes stroke #2.

I tried to contain myself and be cool about it, but eventually I'm going to have to tell her.

In between dinner and Bible study, we took the girls to Guntersville's newest establishment, Lake Guntersville Ice Cream Shop, for a sweet treat. As we ate with a few girls at our table, we started joking about how people highlight and highlight in their Bibles until you realize one day: it's not just the one or two verses that were important, it's the whole thing. Eventually, you figure out that you've just highlighted the entire Book of John by trying to highlight the "best" verses. We laughed about making notes in the margins during particularly moving sermons-- like my "Dirty Harry" reference from a youth conference in high school-- that no longer make a lick of sense. Dirty Harry? Really? I really thought I'd remember that? My high school Bible is out of control-- one big highlight, held together by duct tape. As I looked around the group tonight, I was proud to see a multitude of intimately used Bibles, the leather worked soft from use, the pages flimsy and worn from flipping, the verses highlighted and underlined. All signs of these girls living in the Word.

When it comes to my current Bible, it's not very old. And since I've had it, I've kept a separate notebook for my unruly note-taking. So when you open my Bible, it's not highlighted and underlined. It's hard back, so it doesn't fall open to a well-loved verse. And when I open it in church to a "blank" page-- untouched by pen or marker-- I want to explain to those around me that I DO use it, even though there's no clear evidence. Andrea agreed with my sentiments, having a new Women's Study Bible that she's deemed too pretty to write in. And I couldn't help but laugh over our need for others to witness our commitment to the Lord and His Word through our bleeding highlighters.

alpha omega.

Tonight I had the distinct pleasure of attending a high school girls' Bible study. Most of the girls have been my "student" at what time or another as I have filled in for almost every teacher once or twice. From time to time, I'll catch a glimpse into the lives of the students, whether it's "accidentally" overhearing their conversations or just listening as they vent at my desk (aka, avoid doing their work), but tonight I felt honored to peak into a very special part of their lives.

My sweet friend Laura put this group together a few weeks back, named it Alpha Omega, and went about inviting her friends and peers to join her in worship. See, right away, Laura's more mature as a senior in high school as I was... even now. Because if you'll notice, she didn't stop at inviting her friends. I have had the privilege to watch Laura grow up since her brother was one of my best friends when we stood in her shoes at GHS, and with this privilege has come the capacity to see her in action with the students around her. She didn't go after the cool people, although they were just as welcomed and encouraged, and she didn't go after her buddies, even though they support and encourage her with their eager participation. Laura has, instead, thrown together a rag-tag group of high school girls from all walks and cliques of life-- a group that has quickly come to refer to each other as family.

I wish that I had had Laura's perspective. Her confidence in Christ. Her passion for sharing the Word. Her disregard for social class... much like Christ Himself. I am so in awe of this girl... all these girls. Their commitment to the Lord and each other is unlike anything I've seen in people this age.

So, whoever's out there, pray for Laura. Pray for Alpha Omega. Pray for a passion for Christ to spread throughout this school like it has in these girls.

coming up for air.

Every now and then I literally have to stop wedding planning and stop for a breath of air.

People keep telling me to slow down, that it'll all come together, that 6 months is plenty of time and I don't have to have the wedding planned by Christmas. The truth is, though, that I kind of do.

Next semester I start a 600-hour internship. That's 40+ hours split between the high school and the elementary school, complemented by hours of lesson planning outside of school. Oh, and then there's that whole find-a-job deal. And did I mention comps? And the NCE? There's always that drive to-and-from Tuscaloosa once a week, too, where I have 4-hours of unlimited think time... just four more hours that I can think about what needs to get done but won't be able to do any of it.

Wedding season is always crazy, and that's exactly why we wanted to get married a little before traditional wedding season hits on June 1. Any time we entertained the thought of marriage, we talked about the last weekend in May. People would be out of school, we'd be back in time for our friends weddings... Family complications, alas, had us change the date. At that point, I should've known how stressful this whole scenario was going to be. Our options were to knock it back a week and schedule on top of another Guntersville wedding, or knock it forward a month as to avoid three other Guntersville weddings. Like I said, we've always wanted to avoid the wedding rush of June/July (and the oppressive heat), so May 19 it is. So after the initial stress of changing the date we had our hearts set on, then comes the stress of trying to plan a rather large wedding in a rather small town already hosting a rather large wedding. Even outside of Guntersville, there's a string of vendors who have, one by one, said they were already booked. Through July.

I've never wanted to be engaged for much longer than 6 months. To me, that's getting engaged for the sake of being engaged, and having my status on Facebook change from "In a Relationship" to "Engaged" was just not that important. I wanted to get engaged to get married, not to "take it to the next level." As it turns out though, you need to be engaged for a year just to book vendors.

At last, though, it seems that the pieces are falling into place. The caterer is chosen, the reception band is booked, the photog has been in touch, bridesmaids dresses are picked, cake testing led to cake choosing (and hopefully will lead to more cake tasting), wedding dress shopping is booked, the bachelorette weekend is in the works, and the honeymoon is booked and official. 

Now, the task at hand is to find a reception venue large enough for the cities of Guntersville and Sheffield to collide without alarming the fire marshal. Our guest list seems to be in excess of 60 billion, with a new person every day saying, "Tell me the date so I can put it on the calendar!" Errr... 60 billion and one. And the truth is, I love it. I love the idea of spending the biggest day of my life with people that care enough to care when my wedding is. I've just got to find a place that can hold everybody.... and start the prayer vigil to hold off the rain immediately (join me in that, would you?). 

So that's today's mission: reception site. Well, that and manicures and pedicures with my recently-engaged bestie, Erica. I can't help feeling like a proud mama when it comes to Erica and Dee since I introduced them once upon a time. And this engaged business is an awfully good reason to keep the hands in manicures... and I would just feel mean leaving my feet out. And come on, I've been under a lot of stress lately...

Hey, I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm getting a manicure AND a pedicure, and that's that.

xoxo-- Bridezilla