a simple request.

A few people have asked me what I'm going to walk down the aisle to... And I think I've made up my mind.

I simply ask that the groomsmen and ushers do this little number. The choreography is simple enough, I think, and Alex can even have the little solo at the end.

falling into place.

Alright. The caterers have been met with, and the catering budget has been determined. The menu is official, and I'm just waiting on an exact price per head to enter into my handy-dandy budgeting tool on TheKnot. Between a to-do list and the budgeting tool, that website is worth its weight in gold-- not to mention you get to design a cute website.

Ours, by the way, is...
HaysRuggles.ourwedding.com

It's very much a work-in-progress, with our wedding party members being tracked down and whatnot. I swear, it's like assembling the Order of the Phoenix. Also, at the time of my last website update, we had not determined the location of the reception.

Like I said: work-in-progress. I wish there was a "Pardon Our Progress" graphic I could tack on like you see on Interstate construction.

Just talking to the caterers today gave me some peace on the whole shindig. It seems to be coming together, and as we talked about what food station would go where, I could start to envision the event perfectly.

With a wedding dress purchased, and the "vision" of the ceremony and reception getting clearer and clearer, I can't help but continue to wonder... is this real life??

The Wedding Planner

I've given myself some time off from the wedding planning. I had to take a high dosage Chill Pill and learn to just say, "I have no idea" when bombarded with questions from well-meaning well-wishers.

What kind of flowers am I going to have?
No idea.

What's my mom going to wear?
You'd have to ask her.

What song are we dancing to?
Not entirely sure.

What shoes am I wearing? High heels? Flats?
Wish I knew.

How am I wearing my hair?
Up-- that's as far as I've gotten.

But tomorrow, I'm officially getting the ball rolling again. My full-time internship + Tuscaloosa commute starts back January 4, so I'm going to get as much done in the next week as possible. For instance, tomorrow I'm having lunch with a very dear friend where I will pop the question: will you be my bridesmaid?

I'm meeting with caterers on Thursday, and I've officially started harassing a local wedding planner. I'm starting to research for our registry (who knew picking out my own gifts would be so overwhelming? it's not just a cute plate-- it's a cute plate FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE), and hopefully we'll even pull the trigger-- literally-- on registering soon (Alex is in it only to hold the little scan gun). I've just sent out a mass email to the secured bridesmaids regarding ordering their dresses, and we'll be putting in that order in the next two weeks. Our engagement pictures are next weekend, and we're up to our ears in potential invitations and save-the-date cards. Every time I try to whittle down my guest list it magically gets bigger than when I started, so that's on the to-do list as well.

So, ready or not, here we go...

whirlwind

As Alex likes to quote from Talladega Nights, "TWO CHRISTMASES!"

Or more accurately, five Christmases, spanning from Oneonta to Guntersville to Sheffield.

We kicked off Christmas with a party at Alex's house, hosted by his roommate Buck and his girlfriend-- THE hostess with the mostess. This was our first foray into the world of married couples, as the entire party consisted of 8 couples, 5 of who were married couples. And if that doesn't feel grown up enough, one couple had a seven month old at home with a sitter.

The next day, after my second battery of testing for graduation/certification/licensure, we headed to Oneonta for the Marcum family Christmas at Momma Em's. There's never a dull moment when the oldest grandson is 33 (or are you 34, Eric?) and the youngest great grandchild is 2. And better yet, the true youngest is coming on January 31! And throughout that age range, the biggest gap is 6 years. We literally have every developmental stage and age group represented, so there's always wisdom to share and stories to tell and retell.

This week, we celebrated Christmas at Kat's house. I think this was her third annual gathering, but my first time attending, and I was kind of overwhelmed by how this group of people (Kat specifically) brought me to where I am right now. Laura and her husband were there-- the two that introduced me to Kat. Rebekah, who hosted the girls night where I met she and Kat, was there. Abby was with Kat and I when we got ready to go out the night Alex and I were officially "set up" (seriously, it was like a conspiracy). As we stood around sipping champagne punch and eating Christmas cookies, I couldn't help but think how my life's come full circle in so short a time.

**As I mentioned, this is the third annual Christmas party at Katherine's, and unfortunately the last one for some time. On January 9, our little matchmaker leaves for a 2.5 year mission to Bulgaria. So please put this very, very special friend of mine on your prayer list, boys and girls.

Friday morning, Alex and I headed home to Guntersville for Christmas with my parents. This year has been confusing for me because I'm a stickler for tradition. That is, I require that things be exactly the same from year to year. That means we don't deviate from our traditional watching of the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas or the sugar cookies that we eat while we watch. With "TWO CHRISTMASES!" this year, a little flexibility was needed. So Christmas Eve Eve, we had our traditional Christmas Eve meal and opened one present apiece. We tried out a new game that Mom and Dad won in Marcum Dirty Christmas, and Alex and I spent a great deal of time playing Mario Party on Wii (as a result of his one present for the night). To cap off the night, Al watched the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas at the foot of my bed while I looked through wedding inspiration online.

Christmas Eve morning, the house was frenzied with preparations for the Hays family Christmas celebration. The whole clan gathered at our place for lunch and Wii battles, a tradition that has emerged mainly among the men of our family in the last five years or so. Per usual, there was way more food than necessary and tons of memories shared between cousins that grew up in the same crazy family. Stories that only cousins would find funny.

After the family left, I demolished Alex in Mario Party for the first and very likely last time (which is why it must be documented here in public). Later, Mom and Dad tag-teamed us in a combined battle of Scrabble and Taboo. Technically they won, but if you break down the scores (which we're doing here for the sake of our egos) they won decidedly in Scrabble and we mopped the floor with them in Taboo. I think we can all see where the true teamwork shined through. (And if you don't know how to play Taboo, I'll just tell you: it requires actual teamwork, unlike Scrabble). We feasted on leftovers from earlier that day and opened another round of presents-- this year Mom wanted to work up to a grand finale on Christmas morning, so we went 1-3-remainder starting on Friday and ending on Sunday morning.

Sunday morning, Dad made his traditional omelets, and we opened-- unwrapping Santa gifts was a first in the Hays home-- the remainder of our Christmas toys. Alex pretty much reaped a new wardrobe from his first Christmas with us, and I did pretty well too: wallet, purse, clothes, apron, ornament for my collection, make-up, etc.

After a beautiful Christmas morning service at FBC, we headed west to Sheffield for my first Ruggles Family Christmas. The setting's a little more formal, but the love is just as palpable. I was reminded throughout the day how lucky Alex and I are to come from two families that truly love and enjoy each other. It's incredible enough that each of our parents are in the happiest years of their 30+ year marriages, and getting happier by the day it seems, but to have extended families, too, that genuinely look forward to these holiday gatherings... well, we're unspeakably blessed. That's all there is to it.

This was the first time getting to catch up with Alex's extended family since we got engaged, so it was quite special to see the two women that so graciously gave their own engagement rings to help create mine. It was thrilling all over again to tell the story and talk wedding details with my new family.

Christmas night, we returned to the GORGEOUS home of Alex's parents. At long last, Alex got to have Santa time with his folks, and I had the privilege of becoming part of their traditions.

Today, Al and I had lunch with three of his best friends from high school. It was funny to hear their shared stories of growing up together and funnier still to hear stories they shared with each other from new chapters of their lives. And sometimes it was just funny to zone out while they the umpteenth story of 25 people I didn't know. The rest of the afternoon was spent reading and snoozing and last minute catching up with the family of the groom.

And tonight, I got to spend an evening with one of my very best friends and bridesmaid, Laura, who is in the 23rd hour of her own new engagement. It's so wild to share this time with my closest friends. Between Erica and now Laura, nothing beats comparing notes with my best friends as they go through the same trials and tribulation and thrills and exultation of being the bride-to-be.

All in all, it's been a whirlwind-- but a very merry, wonderful Christmas whirlwind.

to prove my point.

Remember that last post about books saturating my life?

Tonight, I sat around with Trey, Hunter, and Josh playing board games-- wild and crazy guys!-- and I couldn't help but see that post at work.

Trey had devised what he calls a board game biathalon (actually, it was a triathalon, but we talked him down from from tri- to bi-). We split into teams-- Josh/Lindsey v. Hunter/Trey-- and went back and forth between Scrabble and Taboo. We each played our turn of Scrabble, partners scores being counted collectively, and then we did a round of Taboo. Then, you guessed it, back to Scrabble. Repeat. I thought it was going to be chaotic, but it was actually a lot of fun and broke the monotony of an hour-long Scrabble game.

As we played Scrabble, I struggled more than usual. For one, Words with Friends lets me play with words and tells me if it's a word or not. But the most frustrating thing was that I couldn't remember what words were actually... words. Literary words from made up worlds fogged my mind-- is nox a word? or is it just a spell to turn out the lights? (that's from Harry Potter, Mom). what about avox? word or a tongueless convict in the Capitol? (The Hunger Games).

Clearly, I was working with an 'x' because doxy also sent me for a whirl (in Harry Potter-world, that's a creature that lives in dusty places, like the abandoned home of Sirius Black). But you get my point.

And for the record, Josh and I dominated: 320 to 247. Hunter's a frequent flier on Words with Friends, so I thought they'd have a pretty good run... not to mention, Josh played in a Benadryl haze, but it was an easy victory after all.

Best. Gamer. Ever.

good book.

Well, I hesitantly started The Hunger Games earlier this week. Many had recommended the book to me, but I didn't love the sound of the 1984-esque book, especially not without Pamela Moore's interpretation by my side.

(that's a reference to my practically divine dual-enrollment senior English "professor," folks).

But I'm on holiday, and everyone else is doing it, so... I embarked on the book-of-the-moment as my "trendy read" of the break. The first chapter and a half, I was just 'meh...' The latter half of chapter two and chapter three were more of a 'hmmm...' and now, I'm in. So in, in fact, that I'm dreaming about participating in the Hunger Games. And that's no sweet dream.

That's the mark of a good book if you ask me: when you're so drawn into the characters and the plot that they start to penetrate your real life.

While I was reading Gone with the Wind, any "bump in the night" was a Union soldier trying to take the last of our meager rations. The second time I read the Harry Potter series, I sobbed when a beloved character fell to his death-- yes, sobbed on the elliptical machine in the apartment complex gym; I made quite a splash. Sense and Sensibility had me thinking in an English accent; occasionally, it had me speaking in an English accent that sounded much better in my head. My favorite book as a child, Jacob Have I Loved, transported me to my grandparents' house on Smith Lake every time I cracked open the novel. When I read Redeeming Love in college, my heart bled for Angel, hating her and hurting for her all at once. Books about royalty-- Henry the VIII, Marie Antoinette, and even Zeus and his crowd-- make it that much easier to be drawn into because it's a world every little girl wants to walk into (albeit, you soon find out those stories don't have a happy ending-- see Marie Antoinette for details). And I can't forget Bridge to Terabithia, which was read to me in third grade. Each day, a little passage after break. My thoughts raced, conflicted between listening and trying to determine where my own Terabithia lie.

Wow. Nerd Alert! But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. If these parallel worlds that offer a moment of respite in a busy, all-too-real world make me a Nerd, I'll wear that as a badge of honor. I'll also leave you with a lovely quote from Robert Pattinson, star of another phenomenon, Twilight.*

*You'll notice that RP's book series, authored by Stephanie Meyer, didn't make my list. That wasn't an accident... but his quote is still dead on.

"If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads."


** The thing about Internet quotes is...  you can't guarantee the accuracy. Whether or not this is the REAL R Pattz, it's still good.

conviction.

This week our Bible study talked about premeditated sin. Truthfully, our student-leader, Laura, called it something much more intelligent and theological, but the term escapes me at the moment.

The point, though—the bare bones of it—was that we take advantage of grace. We take advantage of this gift we’ve been given because it’s free. It’s easy. It’s abundant. It’s accessible. It’s abused.

In Monopoly, if I hit ‘Go Straight to Jail,’ I’ve practically lost nothing but my ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card. We walk around this life as though we have a never-ending supply of ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards.

And that’s the truth, really, except that we’re warned against this very thing.

We’re grateful for grace because we need it desperately. Even at our best, we need it. Because we’re flawed. Broken. Beyond repair—except for the love of a Savior. And so we are given grace as a pardon for our depraved natures, not as an excuse for our unreformed lifestyles.

Do we mess up? Yes, absolutely, without a doubt. But do we PLAN to mess up? Do we knowingly live out a lifestyle contrary to what we, believers, are called to live? Every single day.

The question posed at Bible study with this: are we banking on grace? Do we knowingly use it as a “Freebie” to dabble in darkness?

I saw this little “poem” online once-upon-a-time. I can’t remember where, although I would bet it was someone’s Facebook status. It’s cringe-worthy at first, but then you’ll realize that’s it an unspoken mantra, whatever the subject matter, of us all:

Sex is evil… Evil is sin.

Sin is forgiven… so sex is in.

Pick your poison and replace “sin” with it, and voila—tell me that we don’t live our lives that way, whether it’s sex, gossip, gluttony, profanity, and so on and so on. As we bank on grace, we excuse ourselves to live no differently from the world, even when we’re commanded to be light and salt.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Romans 6:1-2, NIV

The other line of defense for this habitual sin lifestyle we choose is that we “can’t go back.” I hear from time to time, even from my own mouth, “I can’t help being a gossip. I was just born nosey.” So many times I’ve heard friends say, “I’ve already crossed that line; there’s no going back.” If your life were a Tylenol bottle with a safety seal, your logic would be right. Once the seal is broken, the product should be discarded. In actuality, we came to this earth with seals broken, worthy of being trashed.  As believers, though, we have redemption from this fate. We have been sealed by Christ, and yet we continue to act as though we’re one step further than His grace can cover. We are fortunate to serve a God that separates our sins from us as far as the East is from the West, but instead we cling to that, holding it to us as though we can’t let it go. As though our sin is bigger than our God. It’s insulting to God and the magnitude of the sacrifice He made on the cross to save us from the very thing we find ourselves clinging to. It’s like saying, “I really appreciate Your hard work and all—that whole death on the cross was great work, really—but I’m just going to hold onto this until something better comes along.”

Would I say it to His face? Absolutely not. But my actions say it everyday, and you know what they say—Actions speak louder than words.

I’ve been thinking about this because my spiritual life has the tendency to fall into a list of to-dos. Am I doing my quiet time? Check. Am I going to church every Sunday? Check. Am I participating in a small group? Check and check. Look how good I am! But am I getting better? Good is great, but is it good enough? Am I doing enough? Am I settling for good when my Savior deserves my best? Because faith is dead without works—there’s actually some effort required on my part, albeit outrageously low considering how great a debtor I am.

Just some thoughts on sinning by someone who knows the art of sinning well.