I've been in a gross place this week. I'm not a crier, unless severely lacking in sleep, but this week I have cried at the drop of the hat. Everything I've looked at has had a negative spin on. For instance, I should be excited about going to Sweden, but instead I've only been able to worry about what I'll look forward to when I get back. I haven't even gotten there yet, and I'm already worried about coming back!
I talked to T for two hours Tuesday night, and it's amazing what a calming effect he has on me. Our conversations are impossible and irrelevant; we mostly talk about things that we'll never actually do, but sometimes it's nice to escape into that. T is pretty much the Will to my Grace... not that he's gay. I just think we could live our lives as non-romantic life partners.
I'm subbing today, and I have a lot of "inclusion" classes. I love teaching, but special ed. is not my forte. I think about JP a lot and how he has a heart for something that stresses me out and breaks my heart. So today will be challenging, and I'll probably text him often to look for advice on how to instruct a student that thinks she's a bird (to which he responds, "Maybe she is.").
It's hard to stay in a funk when Aunt Deb is texting me pictures of my baby niece and a Rachel and Matthew that have never looked so complete. :)
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