Guilty.
So I think on my next go-around, maybe I'll date against type (since my success with my type has been so outstanding). So here's my overview of a few types that are out there and how they might fare (or have fared) in my life.
1. The Musician- ah, my favorite. This rare bird is a little skittish and squirrelly, tortured and shy (until you put an instrument in his able hands). You can find him at social gatherings in the corner with his true love, the banged up Alvarez he's had since he started picking at age 13. He's the one with the slightly mussed hair, wearing a retro band t-shirt (and he doesn't even care that it's totally trendy) and biting his lip as he strains to make that beautiful music. Sure, he's kind of hard to talk to, but if you're lucky you'll be his muse (and it'll only bother you a little bit if his friends call you Yoko).
Pros- he'll write songs about you and you could listen to him play for hours; Cons- you couldn't pay him to dress up and don't think for a second you'll ever meet his parents.
2. The Frat Star- I like the frat daddy because he cares about his appearance, but he oftentimes outdresses me, especially when I'm feeling like a bohemian day instead of polo and pearls. If there is a trend out there, this man has it down-pat. He is decked out in Costas (slung around his neck via Croakie), a PFG fishing shirt, shorts that are debatably too short, and flip flops (possibly Chacos-- it's all about the brand name with this breed). He is characterized by his involvement on campus and over-usage of words like "Epic!" And he will likely charm you with his limited (but still impressive) ability to swing dance and the way he throws back his head to brush his perfectly coifed shaggy hair out of his eyes. You will note his appearance on the road by the collection of "outdoorsy" stickers he has on his back windshield (Patagonia, Mountain Hardware, etc), but you will not likely catch him in the woods as that is too far from a keg. Pros- this guy is ambitious, well-dressed, well-connected, and he is well-trained to open doors and offer to buy you drinks; Cons- Bro time will always outweigh time with his lady, and you'll need to be sure to stay current on Greek fashions (luckily for the ladies, most days that means an over-sized t-shirt and Nike running shorts).
3. The Good Ol' Boy- You can hear this gentleman's vehicle from a mile away, as his F250's muffler has fallen off somewhere between here and the creek. He'll be wearing jeans, Carhartts probably, and he might even have his t-shirt tucked in under his camo jacket. And beware of those steel-toed boots. On the weekends, you can find this specimen on his family's land fishing or hunting or throwing back beers in the back of his high school buddy's pick-up truck. Hop in that very truck, turn on the radio, and you'll be enjoying the smooth stylings of Nickelback or, if you're lucky, any number of country music stations.
Pros- he loves his momma and could probably check your oil for you or even build you patio; Cons- his taste in music is hardly cultured, he probably won't get your references to Garden State or other indie movies, and you may have to spend an afternoon watching Nascar.
4. The Athlete- You know him, you love him. He is a block of solid muscle, and he makes you feel tiny and delicate, like he could pick you and twirl you around with ease. Sure, he's not a scholastic giant, but he is quick and agile and make you want to sport a jersey with his name across the back. You can expect him to always be wearing tennis shoes, in case he needs to sprint somewhere mid-day, and you can count on him wearing some sort of Under Armor at all times. He is very competitive, and he will manifest this by trying to train you in his sport of choice or choosing to never play with you at all for the sake of your relationship.
Pros- You have just come into a plethora of giant hoodies and sweatpants with "Guntersville Baseball" or what-have-you across the chest, and, for some inexplicable reason, athletes more often than not have a great head of hair. Cons- You have just signed yourself up for attending every intramural or office sports league game your man should decide to sign up for, and The Athlete will sign up for them all. Your TV will also unfailingly be tuned to one of the infinite ESPN channels when this type is nearby.
5. The Politician- Be careful not to confuse him with the Frat Star. He may come off as trendy at first, but you'll rarely find him out of his uniform of polo and khakis. This breed argues for the sport of it, not necessarily to change your opinion. They thrive on debate, and they have an unwavering opinion on all the issues. The phrase 'I don't care' is not in their repertoire. You can find them at a meeting of the College Republicans or at a meet-and-greet for a local candidate, networking like it's his job. You will need to be well-groomed to date this gentleman, as a politician's mate must be current on the issues and dressed to the nines (think J. Crew and Chanel).
Pros- this man has ambitions (read: he wants to be the Leader of the Free World), and being with him means being with a Somebody... as in you could be the First Lady one glorious day; Cons- those of us that are politically apathetic have little to nothing in common with this specimen; and those of us that don't care to argue will often leave his presence with a general feel of exhaustion.
*sometimes these types overlap.
Don't you love a good stereotype?
Ironic, as I have been contemplating a blog on "types" but along the lines of how women turn men down using the line "You're not my type!" and how since they date only a certain type, and they're still single, obviously they need to re-examine who they're picking as a type. However, I started finals, found other topics, etc, and haven't written that yet.
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