Philippians 4:12-13

In this season of my life, I've more than once shook my fists at the sky and cried out. I've wondered why?, I've sobbed why?, and I've screamed why?. I've had ups, and I've had a lot of downs. As my mom sometimes says, it's been "feast or famine." My life is either 100% wonderful: surrounded by friends and laughter and adventure-- or it's 100% disastrous: exam after exam, loneliness, and stagnation. In a summer of mostly Internet classes, it's hard to establish a routine. Sometimes I rejoice in my freedom: I've gone to Sweden and Chicago, white water rafter, road tripped to Mississippi, watched a handful of classic movies... And sometimes I watch endless reruns of Friends and lay on the couch for hours. When it's good, it's great, and when it's bad, it's pretty awful.

Yesterday, I was reading in Psalms and I ran across this little gem:
"For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from Him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."
Psalm 62:1-2

I shall not be greatly shaken... not "I shall not be shaken." The world's going to shake me, my own thoughts are going to jostle me, and I will never escape discomfort. I'm embarrassed that my thoughts sometimes look like this: I'm a good person, I pray daily, I volunteer, I'm not a sloppy drunk, I don't sleep around... so why me? where's my happy ending?
The fact is, this life I've chosen... this whole Christianity thing I've subscribed to... this Savior that gave His perfect life for me... It's not a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. When I gave my life to Christ, I didn't get a perfect life in return, but a perfect salvation bought with perfect blood and a perfect eternity worshiping a perfect Creator.

So I'm going to be shaken. Weekly, daily even. But I will not be GREATLY shaken because there is nothing in this world that can shake up that which matters most-- not break ups or disappointments or loneliness or guilt-- "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Don't get me wrong: I'm not looking forward to the bumps. I'm not thrilled about the inevitable shaking, and it'll probably hurt all the same... but what a hope we have in Him! The next time my very soul cries out from the pains of this earthly life, I pray that I will remember to wait in silence for Him: my rock, my salvation, my fortress; and I will not be GREATLY shaken, though shaken indeed.