The lows are complemented by highs.

Alright, party people, somebody out there has been praying for me, and I demand that you reveal yourself. Who here has an in with the Big Guy?

But for reals, I am on a high right now. This is the part of the sitcom where you'd hear one of the main character's voiceover "Previously on Dawson's Creek..." or "Previously on Gilmore Girls..." (those are the two that come to my mind, obviously). So, previously in Wonderland-- yes, it's really what I call my little universe, it wasn't a blog joke so many moons ago-- I was questioning my career path, holding back tears, and frustrated beyond words-- and I am RARELY without words. My multicultural class had pushed my to the end of my rope, or rather the professor had by intentionally embarrassing me in front of my peers. I left with, and blogged about, tremendous feelings of discouragement. A little Mom love and some wise counsel from a dear friend lifted my spirits slightly, not to mention a much-needed bubble bath, but I have lived the last week in dread of returning to the class.

I mean, really, DREAD is an understatement. As I am an incurable perfectionist, I am not a quitter. I would've finished this program, like it or not, simply to prove that I could... but last week I didn't want to. Last week the light wasn't at the end of the tunnel. Last week the light was elusive, out to lunch or off for the day. I didn't want to finish the program, I didn't want to be a school counselor, I didn't want to even go to class the next day.

I can't say that I'm completely cured. I still question things... Do I want to be a school counselor? Absolutely. For the rest of my life? Eh, probably not. Will I ever stop changing my mind about what I want to be when I grow up? Back off, buddy, there's no talk of growing up around here.

Tonight my professor called me her Gold Star Student. I know it may seem elementary to some, but you have to experience this professor to know what high praise that is. You have to know that I shook a little bit as I walked into the classroom tonight, that I literally made myself sick thinking about it all day. With this behind me, the rest of my week-- even the 8 articles and a few chapters I have to read for tomorrow's class-- seem like child's play.

And you know, I may leave class next week in tears. I may come home and beg my mom not to make me go back like I did when I was the new kid in second grade (oh, that makes you feel bad for me, does it? Second grade's no joke). But, thankfully, most of my lows are complemented by highs... which interestingly enough was a lyric to a song on a CD Trey burnt me this summer... and I'd never listened to it until tonight on my way home from class. Weird, huh?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go bask in the glow of my Gold Star.