Class is in session.

Monday morning, children all over this lake city started back to school. Some-- the Lindsey's of the world-- had been anxiously looking forward to this day for weeks, pondering over the most perfect First Day outfits and double checking the school supplies list, while others viewed the big day with a little less excitement... Weirdos.

Little did the third, fourth, and fifth grade afterschool program participants know, Monday was also their first day with Yours Truly. There I sat at the faculty table as my tired little friends dragged into the lunchroom after their respective bells rang. This age group hasn't quite mastered the art of subtlety, so I was greeted with many an openly curious stare and not just a few, "Who are you's?" Along with a few more pointed questions like, "You're not a real teacher, are you?"

To answer your question, let's think of me as your afterschool fairy godmother. I will be here each day to greet your smiling faces, distribute your daily snack pack, and usher you to the seat of your choice (within the defined parameters). Once seated, I will remind you every 7 minutes or so that you are entirely too loud and that there should be no talking during reading time. After you do your homework, I'll be the one with you in the computer lab who reminds you every 7 minutes or so that your volume has reached an unacceptable level and you are mere decibels away from total silence being imposed upon you. Then I'll take a quick break to tell you what a decibel is. From time to time-- approximately every two minutes-- you may approach me with your most recent request to go get a book you left in Mrs. So-and-So's room, go quench your desperate thirst, or make your third absolutely necessary trip to the restroom. I have also been commissioned with the great responsibility of determining when it is time to go out to the playground. What time is it?, you ask. It's about a degree to 98, so no, still not time to go outside. But, miniature friends, do not despair, for I will also be granting your requests to color and assigning line leaders (HUGE deal for those of you not in the "know"). And should your head hurt, your tummy ache, your tooth start hanging out of your mouth, or your knee start inexplicably hurting, I will take you to the magical water fountain that miraculously cures all ailments.

After school fairy godmother or cat herder, you decide.