Thursday Thoughts

If I had to sum up my life at this moment in one word, it would be... content.


For one, I'm reclining with Macy in my favorite chair with a tummy full of Guntersville's finest Mexican cuisine, but aside from just being physically content, I'm just content... all around.

Not too long ago, I went to an AA meeting to do an observation for class. Aside from being one of the most inspiring, eye-opening experiences I've had in my field, I benefited in my own therapeutic way. It looks like what you imagine: a group of 8-12 people (my experience was an all men's group other than the leader and myself) sitting in a circle of fold out chairs in an empty classroom. At each meeting, you open up by doing rounds where each group member tells where they're at mentally, spiritually, physically, socially, and emotionally. The group leader had asked me to participate, and right away the group members called me out: you're not allowed to say fine or any derivative of it... that is, no good, great, bad, etc. Instead, for instance, you might say, "Mentally, I'm feeling... engaged..." Or "present" or so on. It was an interesting little "temperature check."

So you can guess what's about to happen...

Mentally, I'm feeling... restless. Throughout the school year, I dream of being able to rest and relax, but as the break comes to a close, I can feel myself readying to start a new chapter. I'm ready for a routine, a set schedule. I've spent my days reading and working out and napping and cleaning and organizing and napping, but I'm ready for a reason to set my alarm clock and put on make-up (hello, I fixed my hair today for the first in a week. A week!). Oh, and a paycheck would be good too.

Spiritually, I'm feeling... hungry. In Tuscaloosa this summer, I was blessed to be part of an incredible Bible study that fed me weekly, but back home in Small Town, Alabama, there's just not as much offered. I read commentary after commentary, but I wonder if I'll ever read Scripture and see the applications that Bible scholars like Beth Moore and John Piper and John MacArthur pull out. The Lord is so rich and so deep, and I don't even know where to begin knowing Him sometimes.

Physically, I'm feeling... pooped. Erica and I have-- shockingly-- been faithfully doing p90x on weekday mornings. Sadly, I'm not doing all I should to eat right so I'm not seeing incredible results right away, but I'm definitely feeling the effect even when I don't see it in my waistline. And speaking of not eating right, I'm full of chips and salsa and quesadilla right now, so I'm feeling pretty worthless (in the best way possible).

Socially, I'm feeling... blessed. Every morning, I work out with Erica and get a solid dose of girl talk. Last night, I had dinner with Tyler and David then headed up the mountain to see Lee and Lele's new house (hello, are we grown ups?!), and I couldn't help but feel a quiet contentment at being back home with the people I grew up with. And tonight, I got to double that feeling as I had dinner with Spence, Keelin, Grace, and Jordan at El Camino. Two different social sets from two different parts of my life, but two very good nights with very good friends. And this weekend, I'll spend time with the Boyfriend and catch up with Ben and Hannah after church on Sunday (and maybe even Saturday, as it turns out! sorry for inviting myself into your plans, Nan!).

Emotionally, I'm feeling... content. My dad invests in my interests, fleeting as they sometimes are, and my mom is my number one confidant. Last weekend, I spent time with my best friend from high school and her husband in Nashville, and we picked up just where we left off. And Boyfriend, he just gets me. And when he doesn't, he tries really, really hard to figure it out. And honestly, sometimes it all seems too good to be true, like I'm living in some sort of a Matrix.

And if that's the case, and I'm just plugged into some sort of Matrix machine, just leave me be. I've got a good thing going on.