brewdogs and misconceptions.

I apologize for my frequent blogs when I'm working, but sometimes the behaviors of my students are such that they must be reported. Immediately.

For instance, today we watched an Earth Day video. Lots of fun facts were presented, like that the average American drinks 43,310 cans of soda in their lifetime (that's 3000 lbs of weight over your lifetime, by the way). Another fun fact: the average American drinks 13,ooo-something beers in their life [obviously the "average American" is a UA frat star]. One of my male freshman students immediately exclaims, "My new goal in life is to drink 13,000 beers!" Whoa, kid, dream big. Sadly, he was serious.

In response, one of my female students, weighing in at approximately 98 lbs, explains to the classroom that she can drink 30 beers in one sitting ("I have a really high tolerance," she informed us). Listen, kids, I know that your sweet little freshman minds love the idea of pounding brewdogs all night long, but 30 beers? My friends love beer. Love it. With the exception of Nan and Erica, most of my friends weigh in at about 250, 6'2+. These gentle giants couldn't drink 30 beers in one sitting if they wanted to, and they don't want to. And neither do you. Because you would DIE.

Later, another male student got to story telling: tall tales, specifically. This young man filled our time with stories of his A-Day adventures and all the college girls' numbers he got. Now, tell the truth. You didn't get a single number, did you? Go on, grin and change the subject.

In other news, a student was found in the bathroom, supposedly with locked jaw and darting eyes, after a student gave her a mystery pill. One of my students explained to me that she had had an allergic reaction because of the interaction between the mystery pill (identified as Tylenol), two Ibuprofen, and her birth control. An allergic reaction to Tylenol? Sounds intense for an OTC drug. It's because she takes birth control, I was informed. Oh yeah, I've heard how birth control and head ache relief can be a deadly combination. But, real talk, what did you take?

Today are cheerleading try outs. I'm going to go with E, and I've promised myself that I won't cry.