"Follow your heart."

That's what all the great romance novels, dramas, and movies tell you, right? So that is what I did.

It's no secret that I came to the University of Alabama because I was dating a University of Alabama boy. It is also no great secret that he and I are no longer together... but I was already a semester into grad school and about a month into a renewed one-year lease when we broke up, so... for better or for worse, here I am.

I joke sometimes that now I'm doing "hard time" for a bad decision. I had the option and opportunities aplenty to come here for undergrad, but the fact of the matter is, I didn't want to. Simple as that. I don't love this town and I don't love this football team and I don't love this university, but I did love this boy. So again... here I am.

Time and again, I've asked myself why I'm here. Time and again, I've shook fists at God and asked Him why I'm here.

Last night I found comfort in another who didn't know where he was going or why:

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going."
Hebrews 11:8

I don't know what I'm doing here, but I trust that if this was not where I was meant to be, God would give me a way out. As it is, I'm locked in. Literally. I have a legally binding lease and classes that don't permit me to live anywhere else. I prayed tirelessly over my grad school application, and I really believe that if I wasn't meant to be in this program, God would've slammed that door shut. In many ways, I wonder from day to day why He keeps me here, why He didn't "rescue" me from my bad decisions. Maybe I'll find out one day... or maybe I won't. Regardless, I have faith that He has me right where He wants me.

I don't know where I'm going, but I know where I am at this moment. And I know that He will lead me from here, if I'll only listen and obey.

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."
Isaiah 30:21

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
Psalm 143:8