A Modest Proposal

I'm walking in the parking lot of church the other day when I overhear my friend's fiance say to her, "Hey, don't punch me in my one good kidney. It's the only one I have left." Admittedly, I haven't known these new friends for long, but this statement just begs the question... "Um, excuse me, but... what's with this kidney business?"

Apparently, he had donated one of his kidneys to his uncle-- I think, or maybe it was his cousin...-- and is now, obviously, left with just the one. As it turns out, you just need the one to function. Who knew?

I told Laura that if she insisted on hitting her future husband in his one kidney, she should be ready and willing to donate one of hers if necessary. And that's when this brilliant idea came to me: along with premarital counseling, couples should be required to exchange an organ.

Oh yes, you read that right. It makes "two become one" a little more serious, doesn't it? People wouldn't be so cavalier about marriage if there was an organ exchange involved, I bet.

"Will you marry me?"

"Well, that depends. Are you willing to give me a lobe of your lung?"

"Would you settle for a skin graft or a pint of A-negative?"

If the answer's no, you should hesitate. Think it over a bit.

I mean, sure, a Dead Beat Dad can walk away from his pregnant wife, but he might not be so quick to jump ship if he's leaving a little piece of him behind. You know, other than the kid that has half his DNA... he'd be walking away from a kidney too.

Let's say a man wants to cheat on his wife (or vice versa). Paying alimony looks a little bit different when you're required to give an organ back as well. Hope you didn't need that piece of liver, buddy. The consequences of an affair are a bit more dire now, aren't they?

Just a thought. Think it over. Call up your Congressman, and let's get this going. Boom: immediate divorce rate decrease.