Sunday prayer

I love a good church hymn. Something about "Vict'ry in Jesus" takes me back to holidays at my great-grandmother's house: all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered around the ill-tuned, century-old piano and belting out any hymn in Grandma's age-worn hymnal.

While these memories are precious to me, it's so easy for me to get caught up in the feeling the hymns give me. Or whether or not I'm flat or sharp, or if I'm singing louder than the rest of the crowd around me at church. It becomes a performance instead of an act of worship.

Today at church the worship service included one of my favorite hymns-- a hymn that my dad sang at my best friend's wedding. For a moment, I was lost in the memory. But something drew me back in: in the age of technology we live in, you no longer have to hold a hymnal. The words are broadcast on a big screen at the front of the sanctuary, which is probably irritating to the true musicians in the room who might like to see the music clefs. So there on the big screen were the words, and for the first time in a long time, I really paid attention to what I was singing. In fact, I stopped singing. I just let the words of this beautiful, ancient hymn-- circa 8th century-- wash over me. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't have to fight off tears.

So this Sunday, this hymn is my prayer, not my performance:

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.